September 21, 2023

Tips for Overcoming Separation Anxiety on the First Day of Preschool

Congratulations – you’ve reached another milestone with your child starting the first day of preschool! 

Unfortunately, as joyous as this occasion sounds, it often comes with a lot of crying, uncertainty, and anxiety on your kid’s part. Having spent their early years primarily around their caretakers and spending time at home, many children simply don’t know what to expect in school. 

This can become a big source of separation anxiety when they finally have to enter preschool. As a parent, though, you can do a lot of things to help. Today, we’ll give you effective strategies that can make the first day of preschool more comfortable – for both you and your child. 

1. Visit the school 

Before the school year starts, try bringing your child to the school. Familiarising them with all the activities as well as the people will definitely help to ease the anxiety. It doesn’t need to be a trip into the school from the start either: it already helps to start casually pointing out the school to your child whenever you drive by. 

When talking about your child’s school, say its name and say things like this: “Next week you’re going to My Little Campus and you’re going to play with all your friends! Isn’t that exciting?” This way, you build up familiarity with both the word and idea of “school”. Choose to associate positive words and feelings with the school as well so that they think well of it before they even go!

2. Schedule play dates before the school year 

While some of us enjoy meeting new people, others may not. This is true of children too. Some children may find it hard to socialise with other kids. That’s why it’ll help if you can set up playdates with some of their classmates or get them used to meeting new people. This way, when the big day comes, your child can take comfort in seeing a familiar face or two in school from the very beginning. 

You can set this up with a family friend who goes to the same school, or coordinate with another child’s parent. This way you’ll be able to meet the other parents as well!

3. Establish a goodbye routine 

Creating a goodbye ritual (kiss on the cheek, or saying “See you later, Anna!”) can help to decrease children’s anxiety on the first day of school. It’s a great way to create familiarity and comfort, giving them a clue of what’s about to come.  

Moreover, it’s important that this routine should be quick. If you dwell too long on it, your child might be preoccupied with your presence, causing them to cry and panic instead.  

4. Practise being apart 

This is important if you’ve never spent extended time apart from your children. Start with short intervals – 5 to 10 minutes – in which you run an errand or take a quick jog while a family member, friend, or sitter looks after your child. 

You can gradually acclimate your child to the separation by slowly increasing the time you’re apart. Try going to playdates at a close friend’s house or leaving them for the whole day at a relative’s house, for example. You basically want to ensure they’re taken care of even as you get them used to the distance from you.

This way your child will feel less anxious when they’re apart from you while at preschool. 

5. Let your child know when you’ll come back 

It’s important to be specific with your child when discussing your return. You can say things like “I’ll be back after nap time!” and that gives them a nice sense of expectation as to when you’ll actually come back. 

If you’re wondering why our example uses “after nap time” instead of an exact hour such as 3 PM, it’s because most children at this age wouldn’t understand what 3 PM means yet. It’s important to provide specifics in a way that they can understand. 

6. Go to bed early

Hungry and tired kids are cranky and clingy kids – and that’s behaviour you don’t want (especially) on their first day of preschool. 

To avoid this, put them to bed early so that both of you can wake up early and refreshed. Waking up early also means that you’ll have time to prepare a big, nutritious, energy-boosting breakfast for your child. This way, you prepare them for school both mentally and physically.        

Plus, it enables them to go to preschool early and with a calm state of mind. It also gives your child more time to settle in before the other children arrive. 

7. Get them excited on the way

On the way to preschool, say positive and exciting things like this: “I’ll bet you’ll eat lots of yummy snacks today!” or “You’ll probably make a new friend!” In other words, start the day right by ensuring they go with a positive mindset. 

It’s important to not suggest negative reactions at this point too. For example, don’t tell them things like “Don’t cry when I leave” because that’s just more likely to give them the idea of actually doing it. The same goes for making comparisons (e.g. “Your friend Hannah never cries in school”). Be positive all throughout!

You can even continue the positivity by giving them a reward after school for making it through their first day – perhaps their favourite snack or a new toy.  

8. Bring a security object 

Comfort objects, such as a child’s favourite plushie or blanket, can give a real sense of security to a child when placed in an unfamiliar environment. So, if the school allows, let your child bring their security object to school. 

However, if they don’t have any, you can technically make something right there! Give them a photo or your own hanky that they can keep until you meet again. 

9. Keep a positive mindset 

Children are far more sensitive than most realise. Your child can pick up your mood and will take cues from you, so as much as possible, ensure that you keep your cool, always smile, and be confident. When they see you being positive in both speech and body language about going to school, they’re more likely to do the same

Help your child become a confident, independent individual

Leaving your child at preschool for the first time can be tough on both you and them… but it’s necessary, as it’s the way your child discovers the world outside of your home and begins to learn independence. This is why it’s so important to choose a good preschool too: with one, you know that you can let go and trust that your child will be in safe hands. 

Are you ready to give your child the opportunity to learn self-reliance and independence in a safe and secure environment as well? Contact us! My Little Campus is a childcare provider in Singapore with dedicated teachers committed to helping your child reach full potential. 

We can show you how we guide the little ones in our care through key milestones, including that very first day of preschool. You can also take a look at our facilities to see what your child will have access to if you register. And of course, you can ask us all of the questions you like about how we help parents through these early years – so, reach out now!